I Stopped Being Polite to Robots
A morning drink mix-up reminds me how to get better results from AI.
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Forward this to the friend who keeps saying “please” to their chatbot.
The morning I thought my husband could read my mind
I declared this Saturday my “stay-in-bed-as-long-as-possible” day. My husband, Rick, would have joined the challenge if not for his enduring coffee addiction. Caffeine called, and I won the challenge from the best vantage point in the house.
On his way to the kitchen, Rick offered to bring me a beverage. “Thanks so much,” I said. “Can you please make my usual morning starter drink?”
Eager to secure his title as Best Husband for the 26th year running, he hopped out of the room like a contestant on a game show. Two minutes later, he reappeared, head low. “What the heck is your morning starter drink?”
I explained: water heated to 50°C, lemon, and one quarter teaspoon of Celtic sea salt. He hurried off again, equipped with my now precise instructions.
Two minutes later, he returned sheepishly. “Where are the lemons? Where’s the salt?”
This was on me. I hadn’t given enough information.
Once I told him exactly where to find everything, he nailed it. And, to boot, he made the best version yet of my warm morning Gatorade.
I used to talk to AI like it could read my mind too
I used to prompt AI the same vague way: “Summarize this” or “Draft a proposal.” Then I felt disappointed. Tools are not spouses. They cannot infer. They do not know where my “big blue pouch” is or anything about my business unless I tell them.
They follow instructions, not hints.
If you want useful output, stop being nice and start being exact.
How to talk to AI like a builder
You are not wooing a spouse. You are bossing a robot around. Be clear, firm, and specific. Here is how I talk to AI now. Spoiler: it is very different from how I talk to my husband.
Use a command voice, not polite hedging.
❌ “Hi! If you don’t mind, could you please summarize this when you have time? Thank you so much. Love ya!”
✅ “Summarize this thread in 5 bullets. Your task is to follow the rules below. You must keep it under 120 words.”
Define the reader and the depth.
❌ “Write a summary for everyone.”
✅ “Write for a time-starved founder with little technical background. Explain at a beginner level.”
Break big work into steps.
❌ “Create a launch plan.”
✅ “Step 1 list risks. Step 2 outline a 90-day plan. Step 3 assign owners.”
Use do language.
❌ “Don’t be vague and don’t ramble.”
✅ “List the top 5 risks. Return one line per risk with impact and mitigation.”
Provide a quick example.
❌ “Write good subject lines.”
✅ “Example style: ‘Your launch timeline and next steps.’ Give me 5 like this.”
Structure the prompt and fence the data.
❌ Paste chaos and hope for the best.
✅ “### Instruction … ### Context … ### Data … ### Example … ### Questions. Use only the content between <<<data>>> and ignore everything else.”
Make constraints explicit and centralized.
❌ “Try to make it sound good and professional.”
✅ “### Constraints: 150 words. Warm, confident tone. Three short paragraphs. One CTA. Headings allowed. For long form, 600–700 words with one story and one takeaway.”
Block fiction and control uncertainty.
❌ “Fill in any gaps however you like.”
✅ “You will be penalized if you invent facts. If unsure, ask up to 3 clarifying questions, then proceed.”
Ask for natural, human-like writing.
❌ “Compose in advanced legal terminology.”
✅ “Plain language. Short paragraphs. No insider jargon.”
Allow questions, then require delivery.
❌ Endless follow-ups that stall the work.
✅ “Ask up to 3 clarifying questions until you understand. Then deliver the draft.”
Assign a role.
❌ “Help me with this.”
✅ “Act as my small-business lawyer reviewing a client contract.”
Iterate on purpose.
❌ “Looks fine.”
✅ “Improve clarity and tighten by 20 percent. Keep my voice. Strengthen the opening hook.”
Protect the author’s voice during edits.
❌ “Rewrite however you want.”
✅ “Edit for clarity and grammar only. Keep my voice and rhythm.”
Copy and Save this Bossy Boss Prompt
### Instruction
You are my [role]. Your task is to produce [deliverable]. You must follow every rule below.
### Audience
[who it is for; level]
### Context
Only use the material between <<<data>>>. Ignore everything else.
### Format
[type, word count, tone]
### Constraints
- No invented facts. If missing info, ask up to 3 questions, then proceed.
- Short paragraphs. Plain language.
- Include [CTA/headings/subject line].
- End with one sentence that repeats the main point.
### Example
[paste 2–4 lines that show the style]
### Data
<<<data
[paste source text]
data>>>
### Quality checks
Before final, list 3 checks you ran and how the draft meets them.
Use this once. Watch your output improve. Then make it your default.
The ending you can act on
Give AI the recipe and the cupboard map. Do not hope it guesses. It’s not your husband who comes back and asks for clarification. If you want useful output, stop being nice and start being exact.
Take your last polite prompt. Rewrite it with the Bossy Brief. Run both and compare on usefulness, time saved, and confidence.
I hope this helps!
—Sonya
P.S. This blog is going through changes. Next week I’ll be rolling out a new name, new focus, and new branding. Only for the better, I promise. Watch this space.
P.P.S. I’m building something to help business owners but I need your input. Let’s chat: sonyaszabo.as.me/15-min-chat
P.P.P.S. I made it to 11:00 a.m. before I had to brave the world outside my bedroom.