6 Reasons I Named This Substack “Having It All”
This Substack Title Is Meant to Make You Laugh...And Maybe Change Your Life Too
6 Reasons I Named This Substack “Having It All”
If you’re new here, welcome! I’m new here too. Ya, really. This is my first post. 😂
Welcome to the first episode (or is it edition? Episode sounds more exciting) of my Substack. I have no idea where it’s going, probably because planning is not really my vibe.
Actually, I take that back.
(You may be wondering at this point if I’m a total Neanderthal and whether it’s possible that I don’t know where the delete button is on my keyboard. I do, I promise... but I’m about to make a point.)
It’s not that planning per se isn’t my vibe. It’s just that prescribing everything with an exact plan isn’t.
I’m a visionary, not a planner.
Stick with me and you’ll see what I mean.
I’ve titled this Substack Having It All. I named it after my deepest, core longing. You see, some people want diamond rings. Some just want everything.
I’m the latter.
(I feel seen, Alicia Keys.)
Without further rambling, here are the 6 reasons I’ve called my little online writing project Having It All.
1. I’m in the middle of my 5th midlife crisis.
5th or 6th. You tend to lose track after the 3rd.
I’ll save the gory details for another “episode,” but in a nutshell, I’m 45 and sitting at yet another major crossroad of my life.
Not too long ago, I admitted to a young friend that I still didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grow up.
She pushed me on it.
“Yes you do,” she said. “I think you know what you want to be.”
No one ever called me out on that before.
She was right. I do know what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve just been ignoring it kind of like the $100 at-home face peel kit I bought last year and tucked away in the back of my vanity drawer. I like the idea... but it also terrifies me.
I’ve never said what I want to be aloud.
Both my friend and I deserved to hear me say it. So I’ve pulled it out of the drawer and opened the box.
Here goes nothing...
“I want to have it all, and the way I want to get there is to write.”
And now, you get to read it first:
When I grow up, I want to be a writer.
This may be the key to finally becoming a grown-up.
But hopefully not a boring one. Yuck.
2. I’m not the only one.
Maybe you’re still reading because it’s like one of those celebrity memoirs where they hit rock bottom and you’re yelling to your partner from the couch, “She’s spiralling and I can’t look away.”
If so, welcome. I can’t promise anything juicy, but feel free to keep reading just in case. Judge if you need to.
But maybe...
Maybe you clicked “subscribe” because Having It All sounded like a shiny thing and you wanted to grab it. If so, you’re my people. And we need each other.
I’m starting this newsletter because I want to talk to people who live in two modes: motivated and distracted.
I’m constantly warring with my desires and struggling to clarify on how to achieve them. I want to be a better version of myself, but there’s so much noise in my head that it’s hard to focus long enough to make meaningful change.
This inner conflict? It’s my favourite thing to talk about.
But until now, it’s only ever been a soliloquy.
If you’d like to join the conversation, I invite (no, beg) you to comment on these posts or send me a DM.
3. Having It All is satire.
There. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ll spell it out for you.
If you thought this was going to be one of those newsletters where someone helps you choose the perfect designer purse to match the leather seats in your custom sports car as you drive in elegance to your Great Aunt Coco’s “cabin” which is actually a 26-bedroom hunting lodge in Vail, to play murder mysteries with your five handsome Ivy-League children after the mega-church service led by your chiseled pastor-husband you tenderly call “Biff”...
I’m sorry. You’ve been misled. 'That’s not ‘having it all.
Leave now.
And if you can’t laugh at the state of our harried, strapped, confusing lives?
Also not the place for you. Unsubscribe now.
Having it all is satirical because if you think anyone can truly “have it all” or “be it all” in any quantifiable way... you’re missing the point of life.
What you can expect here:
Short, digestible posts (under 10 minutes)
One clear message that may actually help you see your life differently
Real stories from my slightly chaotic, deeply felt life
No cold plunge talk (unless you’re into that)
Faith-led principles, where Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount is a faded motivational poster in the breakroom
Free access for everyone
Occasional invitations to go deeper with me
4. I don’t have it all.
But also... I do.
I’ve made a lot of meaningful changes in my life by doing a few simple things regularly.
The most meaningful one?
Loving where I am, and still wanting to grow from there.
5. I’m learning a new way of seeing.
When I was 15, all I wanted to do was teach little kids.
At 25, I wanted to teach my own kids.
At 35, I wanted to teach community leaders in South Africa.
Now, at 45?
All I want to do is learn.
(How’s that for a plot twist?)
I hope this newsletter becomes a place where I can share what I’m learning from my very ordinary life... and maybe someone else will learn something too.
Because here’s the thing:
I’m not a “talk about the weather” kind of person.
Or a “these trying times” conversationalist.
I crave depth.
And I hope this becomes a place for that.
6. It gives me leeway.
The title Having It All gives me permission to write about anything... and nothing.
It might include:
entrepreneurship
lawyering
marriage
my version of feminism
adult children
plant parenting
gut health
trauma
or a great recipe
Or none of those.
I’m not a planner, remember?
Despite the randomness, the golden thread running through the newsletter is my voice. And maybe, by sharing what I’ve got going on, something will resonate with you.
Maybe we’ll start some good conversations.
TLDR - I gotta get back to the gym - Biff
I don't promise to be a regular, but I'm here 😉